Borowitz Report Kavanaugh

Breaking News: Canada Announces Border Wall By Tim Jones. Andy Borowitz. Trump Shouldn't Go to Prison. Join the resistance: Do no harm/take no shit. , is hoping to land a six-figure job for life without being subjected to a thorough background check, the man confirmed on Tuesday. Trump bragged that he “got much bigger laughs than Obama. An Analysis of the Primary Authorities Governing and Supporting the fforts of the Department of Homeland Security to Secure the Cyberspace of the United States. And they have been working hard ever since to fund an array of climate-change deniers to conceal this truth. MSNBC filled its two-minute report with fulsome praise of the man's philanthropy, with nary a word about his rapacious, insatiablee evil, massive climate-change denial funding being one of his most detestable and diabolical projects. Satire from The Borowitz Report Twenty Million Witnesses Come Forward Claiming They Saw Kavanaugh Lie Under Oath According to the witnesses, they can remember the place where they saw Kavanaugh. 944 k liker dette. Donald Trump on Tuesday speaking about his Supreme Court Nominee Brett Kavanaugh whose been accused of sexual assault and rape by three different women: It is a very scary time for young men in America, when you can be guilty of something you may not be guilty of. President Trump, meanwhile, stood by Kavanaugh and said the Justice Department should "rescue" him. New Yorker Quickly Running Out of Ways to Indicate Borowitz Report Isn’t Real News. The State has misconst. today unveiled a new "killer app" that will enable users to call people on their iPhones and talk to them. He is the product of a conservative legal infrastructure that develops ideas, recruits talent, links rising stars, nurtures genius, molds and launches. It had to do with vengeful Democrats, hell-bent on doing all they could to stop Kavanaugh from getting confirmed in the hope that if they. This is a list of Blogs created by JimNastics. Supreme Court. Andy Borowitz. The Borowitz Report was acquired by The New Yorker in 2012. Because they all knew Kavanaugh so well, Trump could be sure that Kavanaugh would be a solid vote to keep Mueller at bay. "I haven't heard from anyone on the Judiciary Committee," Garland said. New Yorker Quickly Running Out of Ways to Indicate Borowitz Report Isn’t Real News. Start investigating conflicts of interest and corruption. The assault "witness" that denies is kavanaugh and his friend who tried to enable the assault and who is a published misogynyst and former writer for breibart and daily caller. During Kavanaugh's confirmation hearings, he claimed that had such an incident occurred, it would have been "the talk of campus. I Changed A Flat Tire By Andrew Knott. In this instance, Borowitz was poking fun at both the high turnover [2] of officials in the Trump administration, the arrest [3] of Loughlin for money laundering in relation to a college admissions scandal involving her daughters, and general. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A Washington, D. Asking for donations, whether in cash or in kind, from a foreign government is like soliciting prostitution: You don't have to get anything in order to be charged. The curbside voting people told me to go upstairs as I walked in but there were no signs at the stairway itself so I wandered around until I found a volunteer distributing Democratic voting cards and got the same directions, good. So, lets say you went to a Halloween party with everyone in costume. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report. ” Trump made headlines twice this this week for expressing his concerns for men who stand accused of sexual assault. Trump Shouldn't Go to Prison. At least five Democratic presidential candidates called for Supreme Court Associate Justice Brett Kavanaugh to be impeached after a new report about alleged sexual misconduct from his college years. There is a fine line between social networking and wasting your fucking life. Investigation Kavanaugh Just Got “My clients are asking that the F. investigation that Brett Kavanaugh just got. Chris Collins expected to plead guilty to insider trading charges Rep. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Former President Barack Obama said Thursday evening that he was "saddened" and "hurt" that Brett Kavanaugh failed to blame him for his predicament at any point in his Senate Judiciary Committee hearing earlier in the day. OBAMA RELEASES LIST OF APPROVED JOKES ABOUT HIMSELF Bid To Help Late Night Comics Saying he is "sympathetic to late night comedians' struggle to find jokes to make about me," Sen. Andy Borowitz on Brett Kavanaugh's Drinking. So, lets say you went to a Halloween party with everyone in costume. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a bid to end the government shutdown, Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh said on Thursday that he would recycle his empties to pay for a wall with Mexico. Trump, the woman has confirmed. Fact checks not relating to civic and public concern are discarded, and the remaining fact checks are broken into the individual claims they assess. Andy Borowitz. So they changed the tagline for “The Borowitz Report the New Yorker’s Borowitz said that his job is made more difficult by the increasing absurdity of reality. Trump Shouldn’t Go to Prison. Its attacks will intensify in 2020. For me, the Kavanaugh story had nothing to do with Trump. Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of "The 50 Funniest American Writers," and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. hurries to complete its supplemental background check of the Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, twenty million witnesses have come forward claiming that they saw Kavanaugh lie under oath. Twenty Million Witnesses Come Forward Claiming They Saw Kavanaugh Lie Under Oath. Nation’s Criminals Ask for F. He is known for creating the NBC sitcom The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and the satirical column The Borowitz Report. Brett Kavanaugh Is Trump's Pick for Supreme Court Introductions and Guest questions. 944 k liker dette. " new study released today indicates that Americans are safe from the threat of gun violence except in schools, malls, airports, movie theatres, workplaces, streets, and their own. He’s just a victim of his own success — and Donald Trump’s. Nation's Criminals Ask for F. Political Humor. ) called for a one-week delay so that the FBI can probe sexual assault allegations against Kavanaugh, even as he voted with 10 other Republicans on the Judiciary Committee on Friday to advance the nomination to. Posted by admin We rewrote and illustrated the Mueller report so you’ll actually read it How the Kavanaugh saga became a teachable moment for. By Andy Borowitz. In a 414-page report released Saturday, the committee said it found "no evidence" to support the misconduct claims. The New Yorker contributor analyzes the new Supreme Court Justice’s drinking before interviewing the congressman Adam Schiff about the honor of receiving a disparaging nickname from Trump. So stay on your webbed toes. Of course he would lie. , is hoping to land a six-figure job for life without being subjected to a thorough background check, the man confirmed on Tuesday. Katie Hill (CA) is reportedly resigning from Congress this week after allegations surfaced that she had engaged in relationships with a campaign staffer and a congressional staffer. If you see comments in violation of our rules, please report them. Nation Stunned That There Is Someone in White House Capable of Writing an Editorial. and its evolving, mutating, resolving at hyperspeed. The Borowitz Report: The Big Book of Shockers. Investigation Kavanaugh Just Got WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In the latest controversy to envelop the Supreme Court nominee, criminals across the United States are demanding that their cases receive the kind of F. wouldn't conduct an investigation into Brett Kavanaugh's drinking, so Andy Borowitz did it himself. Essay Writer Funny. The Alabama version of "history"… _____ On Monday, the state of Alabama lost yet another fight to remain in the 18th century, extending a losing streak that dates back to the 19th century. The aim is to share good hearty-to-eat poetry. 946K likes. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Infuriated after Senator Elizabeth Warren read a scathing letter from 1986 about Jeff Sessions by Coretta Scott King, Donald Trump vowed on Wednesday to secure an endorsement for Sessions from Frederick Douglass. Author: Andy Borowitz / Source: The New Yorker. Satire from The Borowitz Report White Man Hopes to Land Job Without Background Check By Andy Borowitz 10:41 A. Our house is on fire. If you see comments in violation of our rules, please report them. Forgot? Home; Forums; Spurs. The Supreme Court delivered a victory to President Trump on Monday, ruling that his ban on transgender military troops can go into effect while the issue is argued in lower courts. Gefällt 945. Love Me, Love My Gut Biome By Jim Nolan. I expect a Brett Kavanaugh vote almost entirely on straight party lines, with the slim potential for one or two defectors. — Satire from The Borowitz Report, 10 July 2018. " The man, Brett Kavanaugh, received his award for the winning essay at a ceremony at the White House on Monday night. Nation’s Criminals Ask for F. Kavanaugh served as counsel in the Bush White House, and then as secretary before finally being nominated by Bush for the Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit. But Andrew Martin, one of the creators of the Martin-Quinn scores and the JCS. Andy Borowitz. , is hoping to land a six-figure job for life without being subjected to a thorough background check, the man confirmed on Tuesday. Trusted by Trump. It's about time Chuck. ) called for a one-week delay so that the FBI can probe sexual assault allegations against Kavanaugh, even as he voted with 10 other Republicans on the Judiciary Committee on Friday to advance the nomination to. hurries to complete its supplemental background check of the Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, twenty million witnesses have come forward claiming that they saw Kavanaugh lie under oath. Healthcare professional & PhD, country girl from tiny TX town. this is America and Putin has to keep out of our elections. Queen Trains Corgis to Attack Boris Johnson If He Ever Comes to Palace Again. Kavanaugh told reporters that he made the horrifying discovery as the clock ticked down to 5 p. Twenty Million Witnesses Come Forward Claiming They Saw Kavanaugh Lie Under Oath. You won't disturb the other patrons. Andy Borowitz. Satirist Andy Borowitz & Executive Producer Kyra Darnton talk to The Inside Reel about perception, behavior, society and reflexivity in regards to the new season of their magazine show on PBS: "Retro Report". A lawsuit claiming that Asian-American students were victims of illegal discrimination in the Harvard College admissions process goes to trial in Boston this week. — Satire from The Borowitz Report, 10 July 2018. The latest Tweets from Andy Borowitz (@BorowitzzReport). Love Me, Love My Gut Biome By Jim Nolan. 946K likes. "The man, Brett Kavanaugh, received. Canadian Consulate and NYU Present Andy Borowitz at 2006 McLuhan Lecture: March 21 Feb 24, 2006 Steinhardt School of Culture, Education, and Human Development Events and Traditions. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Former President Barack Obama said Thursday evening that he was “saddened” and “hurt” that Brett Kavanaugh failed to blame him for his predicament at any. kavanaugh. The New Yorker - Andy Borowitz. They keep focusing on whether or not there was a quid pro quo with regard to Trump and Ukraine. The assault "witness" that denies is kavanaugh and his friend who tried to enable the assault and who is a published misogynyst and former writer for breibart and daily caller. GOP Hatred. Trump said on Monday that fans at Game 5 of the World Series expressed their strong desire to see him. Patrick Leahy said Wednesday that emails being withheld by Senate Republicans show that SCOTUS nominee, Brett Kavanaugh, may have lied under oath during prior confirmation hearings in 2004 and 2006, ie, PERJURY. Investigation Kavanaugh Just Got By Andy Borowitz/ The New Yorker/ October 5, 2018 Photograph by Chip Somodevilla / Getty WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In the latest controversy to envelop the Supreme Court nominee, criminals across the United States are demanding that their cases receive the kind of F. Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, Sen. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Facing the daunting challenge of appearing to pay attention to a woman’s utterances during a televised hearing, Senator Charles Grassley spent the weekend rehearsing what aides are calling his “pretending to listen” face. Over the next hour or so Borowitz cracked jokes and answered questions about his TV show, “The Fresh Prince. 67,975 Views · September 15. The Onion, Clickhole and the New Yorker’s Borowitz Report are often taken at face value – Clickhole in particular has the spirit of fake news about it, with its tagline: “because all content. Aired 4/12/2019 Comedian, writer and satirist Andy Borowitz calls in to discuss comedy in the age of Trump. Brett Kavanaugh Offers to Pay for Wall by Recycling His Empties Jan 10, 2019 WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a bid to end the government shutdown, Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh said on Thursday www. The Supreme Court delivered a victory to President Trump on Monday, ruling that his ban on transgender military troops can go into effect while the issue is argued in lower courts. And The New Yorker posted a story online about Brett Kavanaugh’s behavior when he was an undergraduate at Yale, which Republicans in the Senate pointed to as evidence of a liberal conspiracy against the nominee. At this time, I'm. Remember, Trump told the DNC what would happen and gave them the opportunity to back down. Blog Created "Gee, do you think they have insurance ?" Or make your own photo caption(s). Andy Borowitz. However, on Wednesday, a closed. The Book of the Diner is well worth preserving. Satire from The Borowitz Report. Nation’s Criminals Ask for F. Andy Borowitz is one of the funniest comedians in America. Brett Kavanaugh Is Trump's Pick for Supreme Court Introductions and Guest questions. There is a fine line between social networking and wasting your fucking life. Nation’s Criminals Ask for F. Kavanaugh's angry launch and then his emotional statements were brilliant. COPENHAGEN (The Borowitz Report)—After rebuffing Donald J. 943K likes. There is a fine line between social networking and wasting your fucking life. Trump told reporters on Wednesday that "it's a very scary time for men, because women can vote them out of office. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook, and at The Borowitz Report (now part of the New Yorker) for the latest fake news headlines and his sarcastic take on the day’s news. I'm originally from Puerto Rico. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report Report) —- In a setback for the newest Associate Justice on his first day of work, Brett Kavanaugh said on Tuesday that “it rains dicks in my happy brain” that he “can’t get all schlitty at work times. LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—Queen Elizabeth II has trained her corgis to attack the British Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, if he ever comes to Buckingham Palace again, palace sources have confirmed. Shocking Report Reveals Putin Is Feeding Trump Russian Propaganda To Read At Rallies. hurries to complete its supplemental background check of the Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, twenty million witnesses have come forward claiming that they saw Kavanaugh lie under oath. September 5, 2018. The Supreme Court delivered a victory to President Trump on Monday, ruling that his ban on transgender military troops can go into effect while the issue is argued in lower courts. Kavanaugh was a federal judge. Andy Borowitz. Satire from The Borowitz Report. " — PolitiFact Illinois on Tuesday, October 29th, 2019. For me, the Kavanaugh story had nothing to do with Trump. ” Trump made headlines twice this this week for expressing his concerns for men who stand accused of sexual assault. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A Washington, D. He writes theBorowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker. The Andy Borowitz Report: Obama's First Year at the 92nd Street Y Andy Borowitz on Kavanaugh’s Drinking. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Former President Barack Obama said Thursday evening that he was “saddened” and “hurt” that Brett Kavanaugh failed to blame him for his predicament at any. Brett Kavanaugh was and is wholly unqualified for the position he now holds, and in fact has blatantly conducted himself in ways that are in direct opposition to the principles and values of the position. Satire from The Borowitz Report Twenty Million Witnesses Come Forward Claiming They Saw Kavanaugh Lie Under Oath According to the witnesses, they can remember the place where they saw Kavanaugh. The Next Steps Forward On Impeachment The next steps in the impeachment process are relatively easy to predict. Satire White Man Hopes to Land Job Without Background Check. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report. The New Yorker The Moth and the World Science. And that's a fact. 946 mil Me gusta. And it’s quite clear that Putin is the mentor behind all this. My idiosyncratic and confluent bricolage of progressive politics, the collaborative commons, next generation cognitive neuroscience, American pragmatism, de/reconstruction, dynamic systems, embodied realism, postmetaphysics, psychodynamics, aesthetics. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a setback for the newest Associate Justice on his first day at work, Brett Kavanaugh said on Tuesday that he was “very disappointed” to learn that the Supreme Court does not have a happy hour. Trump has dispatched the White House press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, to Saudi Arabia to provide what the White House on Thursday called "essential lying advice and assistance. Nation Stunned That There Is Someone in White House Capable of Writing an Editorial. There is a fine line between social networking and wasting your fucking life. Sell Your Diamond Appraisal Essentials Diamond Grading Report Fluorescence Anatomy of a Round Brilliant Diamond What diamond to buy? Grading Lab Survey Engagement Rings Fancy Cut Diamonds Fancy Colored Diamonds Advanced Tutorial Colored Gems Diamond IQ test Diamond Prices AGA CUT Grading Chart Types of Diamond Listings Glossary References. They used to add the word enlightened, but they don't much any more. There is a fine line between social networking and wasting your fucking life. It's about time Chuck. ” The man, Brett Kavanaugh, received his award for the winning essay at a ceremony at the White House on Monday night. "You have a president of the United States who is a former game show host. 3 Kavanaugh. — In the first year of the Trump Presidency, White House advisers often promised reporters that this would be the week when they would unveil Trump's plans for a massive investment in American infrastructure. Reid Fiction & Essay Contest. He is widely known for creating the NBC sitcom, (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and the satirical column The Borowitz Report). Photograph by Andrew Harrer / Bloomberg / Getty. Brett Kavanaugh was and is wholly unqualified for the position he now holds, and in fact has blatantly conducted himself in ways that are in direct opposition to the principles and values of the position. If you’re still flummoxed by the abject servility of congressional Republicans, by their refusal to confront Trump and stand up for American values, check out last night’s primary election in South Carolina. From 'Borowitz Report' to 'Retro Report': Andy Borowitz on Unpacking News Through Humor. kavanaugh. Twenty Million Witnesses Come Forward Claiming They Saw Kavanaugh Lie Under Oath. Trump, Wrecker of Reputations — On Attorney General William Barr's testimony and the coming constitutional crisis. Investigation Kavanaugh Just Got By Andy Borowitz/ The New Yorker/ October 5, 2018 Photograph by Chip Somodevilla / Getty WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In the latest controversy to envelop the Supreme Court nominee, criminals across the …. ~~September 14, 2018~~ KAVANAUGH CONFIRMED TO SCOTUS. Nation’s Criminals Ask for F. wouldn't conduct an investigation into Brett Kavanaugh's drinking, so Andy Borowitz did it himself. To that end, Kavanaugh adopted a specific media strategy, doing an interview with Fox News and writing a piece for the Wall Street Journal. Aired 4/12/2019 Comedian, writer and satirist Andy Borowitz calls in to discuss comedy in the age of Trump. NCSU reserved parking for voters near Reynolds Coliseum and it was easy to find the building. The latest Tweets from Borowitz! (@Borowitz_Report). I was born in Santurce and raised in Rio Piedras. Queen Trains Corgis to Attack Boris Johnson If He Ever Comes to Palace Again. Trump Shouldn't Go to Prison. A poem (or more) will be offered by the hour or with the day and at the very least once a week. If you’re still flummoxed by the abject servility of congressional Republicans, by their refusal to confront Trump and stand up for American values, check out last night’s primary election in South Carolina. Blog Created "Gee, do you think they have insurance ?" Or make your own photo caption(s). President Donald Trump rejected Democrats' calls for impeaching Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh on Sunday after a new report that alleged sexual misconduct, encouraging Kavanaugh to sue for libel and suggesting the Justice Department could "rescue" him. There's a lot to consider here. Daily segments include original reporting on the New York metro region, along with interviews and analysis focused on the national scene from groundbreaking shows like On the Media, The Takeaway and The New Yorker Radio Hour. As each day passes and more information comes out on Russia-Gate, we find that "All Roads Lead to Moscow. Borowitz is a The New York Times-bestselling author who won the first National Press Club. " new study released today indicates that Americans are safe from the threat of gun violence except in schools, malls, airports, movie theatres, workplaces, streets, and their own. Medical E-mergency By Peter McKay. The problem with Democrats is that they will sit still for Alberto Gonzales to treat them like idiots, to lie and obstruct like this, and they won't then dial up the then-President and tell him, "Good luck getting any more nominees through the Senate for any position until you fire that asshole. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A Washington, D. Guest Questions. It's distinctly conservative, it's distinctly Christian, it's very, very funny (especially if you've grown up as an Evangelical Christian), and it's obviously, clearly satire Snopes has fact-checked whether Democrats demanded that 'Brett Kavanaugh submit to a DNA test to prove he's not actually Hitler. He refuses to testify on kavanaughs behalf and kavanaugh is the one that doesnt want an fbi investigation. CNN’s Chris Cillizza claimed Tuesday that President Trump ordered the FBI to ignore allegations that Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh. President Trump called out the woman who accused Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh by name on Friday, and said if the sexual assault on her 36 years ago was “as bad as she says,” either. Nation’s Criminals Ask for F. The assault "witness" that denies is kavanaugh and his friend who tried to enable the assault and who is a published misogynyst and former writer for breibart and daily caller. ‏‎There is a fine line between social networking and wasting your fucking life. 946K likes. Author: Andy Borowitz / Source: The New Yorker. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—As the F. The Ninth Amendment to the Constitution is the strongest statement therein that powers not expressly granted the State are retained as rights of the People. It's distinctly conservative, it's distinctly Christian, it's very, very funny (especially if you've grown up as an Evangelical Christian), and it's obviously, clearly satire Snopes has fact-checked whether Democrats demanded that 'Brett Kavanaugh submit to a DNA test to prove he's not actually Hitler. Canadian Consulate and NYU Present Andy Borowitz at 2006 McLuhan Lecture: March 21 Feb 24, 2006 Steinhardt School of Culture, Education, and Human Development Events and Traditions. And that's a fact. Verified account Protected Tweets @; Suggested users Verified account Protected Tweets @ Protected Tweets @. Borowitz in full. satire as sharp as a thousand knives! 🔪. Each week we review top fact-checking outlets. President Trump, meanwhile, stood by Kavanaugh and said the Justice Department should "rescue" him. Satire from The Borowitz Report White Man Hopes to Land Job Without Background Check. The headline was “Fox: Obama Seeks Advice On Establishing Monarchy” over a picture. Satire from The Borowitz Report Twenty Million Witnesses Come Forward Claiming They Saw Kavanaugh Lie Under Oath According to the witnesses, they can remember the place where they saw Kavanaugh. He denied an NBC News report that he was limiting the inquiry and that investigators were The delay in a full Senate vote on Judge Kavanaugh's confirmation to accommodate the new examination. Brett Kavanaugh Offers to Pay for Wall by Recycling His Empties Jan 10, 2019 WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a bid to end the government shutdown, Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh said on Thursday www. There's a lot to consider here. Andy Borowitz at the New Yorker explains. Andy Borowitz WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Former President Barack Obama said Thursday evening that he was "saddened" and "hurt" that Brett Kavanaugh failed to blame him for his predicament at any point in his Senate Judiciary Committee hearing earlier in the day. Trump’s hypothetical proposal to purchase Greenland, the government of Denmark has announced that it would be interested in buying the United States instead. report are allowed to review the document in advance and to submit a rebuttal, which should have a disciplining effect on Horowitz. Serious question: if the Onion, McSweeney's, and the Borowitz Report are satires that tend to have a liberal bent, what are some examples of satire sites (with articles) that have a strong conservative lean? (Asking for a teacher friend who wants to present balanced examples of political satire. From 'Borowitz Report' to 'Retro Report': Andy Borowitz on Unpacking News Through Humor. , man has won a nationwide essay contest on the topic “Why Donald J. Twenty Million Witnesses Come Forward Claiming They Saw Kavanaugh Lie Under Oath By Andy Borowitz WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—As the F. Andy Borowitz. Rex on July 10, 2018. There is a fine line between social networking and wasting your fucking life. Sell Your Diamond Appraisal Essentials Diamond Grading Report Fluorescence Anatomy of a Round Brilliant Diamond What diamond to buy? Grading Lab Survey Engagement Rings Fancy Cut Diamonds Fancy Colored Diamonds Advanced Tutorial Colored Gems Diamond IQ test Diamond Prices AGA CUT Grading Chart Types of Diamond Listings Glossary References. Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube. Chrystia Freeland [Love that surname!] December 9, 2012 Bryan Kavanagh Chrystia Freeland , author of “ Plutocrats: The Rise of the New Global Super-Rich and the Fall of Everyone Else ” is one of a relatively few analysts who understand how most billionaires make themselves rich at our expense out of our land and natural resource rents. NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Calling his speech to the United Nations General Assembly on Tuesday “an unbelievable success,” Donald J. The latest Tweets from Andy Borowitz (@BorowitzzReport). And all this leads me to believe the FBI report, while it was a needed pause to calm a hot situation, was done to give the GOP cover to vote for Kavanaugh. 3 Mar 2009 LAND VALUES RESEARCH GROUP CALLS THE AUSTRALIAN BUST – by using the Kavanagh-Putland Index; 5 Mar 2009 “WHOSO WOULD BE A MAN MUST BE A NONCONFORMIST” – when people join groups, why do their IQs halve? 27 Mar 2009 DEPRESSIONS FOR DUMMIES – depressions 101. Irregular commentary on whatever's on my mind -- politics, sports, current events, and life in general. Judge Brett M. He is the product of a conservative legal infrastructure that develops ideas, recruits talent, links rising stars, nurtures genius, molds and launches. Photograph by Andrew Harrer / Bloomberg / Getty. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A Washington, D. Trump Blasts Media for Reporting Things He Says? Satire positing that Donald Trump claimed the news media are biased for accurately reporting his statements sailed over the heads of many social. That sounds like something that would happen on a Sharknado sequel," Borowitz told Brian Stelter in this "Reliable Sources" podcast conversation. hurries to complete its supplemental background check of the Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, twenty million witnesses have come forward claiming that they saw Kavanaugh lie under oath. Chris Collins expected to plead guilty to insider trading charges Rep. The Alabama version of "history"… _____ On Monday, the state of Alabama lost yet another fight to remain in the 18th century, extending a losing streak that dates back to the 19th century. investigate them for no more than five days and only talk. Have lived in Florida since 1999. investigation that Brett Kavanaugh just got. the new yorker. By Andy Borowitz. Not the least of which is his willingness to lie under oath. That's one reason I enjoyed tweeting out a Borowitz Report. There is a fine line between social networking and wasting your fucking life. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, "The Borowitz Report. Early voting report, yesterday in Raleigh, NC. Breaking News: Canada Announces Border Wall By Tim Jones. Andy Borowitz. vulnerable to incompetance, fraud, corruption & corporate capture or stale evangelical fantasy and posturing. This is a list of Blogs created by JimNastics. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Facing the daunting challenge of appearing to pay attention to a woman’s utterances during a televised hearing, Senator Charles Grassley spent the weekend rehearsing what aides are calling his “pretending to listen” face. And that's a fact. Auch in den USA erfuhr Justin Kennedy erst dadurch zweifelhafte Berühmtheit, dass sein Vater überraschend zurücktrat: Anthony Kennedy, seit 30 Jahren Rich­ter auf Lebenszeit beim SCOTUS. Prepare to be shocked. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—As the F. Trump said on Monday that fans at Game 5 of the World Series expressed their strong desire to see him. Andy Borowitz: The Life-Changing Magic of Impeaching Trump | The New Yorker Festival Andy Borowitz explains why Donald Trump’s impeachment is a precious moment to be treasured, and reveals what secrets lurk behind closed doors at The New York. , man has won a nationwide essay contest on the topic “Why Donald J. Trump has dispatched the White House press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, to Saudi Arabia to provide what the White House on Thursday called “essential lying advice and assistance. If you see comments in violation of our rules, please report them. Surf here often to test that theory. 946 mil Me gusta. Andy Borowitz. Prepare to be shocked. The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source. "I haven't heard from anyone on the Judiciary Committee," Garland said. They sure put in the hours. By Andy Borowitz WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Saying that "it's terrible what's going on right now," Donald J. Here is the must-see CBS "60 Minutes" report on this champion of the #MeToo movement who points out that the punishment for getting drunk shouldn't be rape. The court's five. 944 k liker dette. WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a setback for the newest Associate Justice on his first day at work, Brett Kavanaugh said on Tuesday that he was "very disappointed" to learn that the Supreme Court does not have a happy hour. This current hoax is already cracked. Have lived in Florida since 1999. The appointments of Gorsuch, Kavanaugh and Barr were crucial in this disease process – which is actually an attempted coupe of the United States to keep one man out of jail. Brett Kavanaugh Offers to Pay for Wall by Recycling His Empties Jan 10, 2019 WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a bid to end the government shutdown, Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh said on Thursday www. Twenty Million Witnesses Come Forward Claiming They Saw Kavanaugh Lie Under Oath By Andy Borowitz WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—As the F. While many Washingtonians might want to. By a JUDGE!!! Huffington post reports that "six emails from Kavanaugh's time in. It is attacking us today. ” Good deal!. Keep up to date with the latest Palmer Report articles via email. Franklin Graham began by first saying that Kavanaugh’s attempted rape was “not relevant”: It’s just a shame that a person like Judge Kavanaugh who has a stellar record–that somebody can bring something up that he did as a teenager close to 40 years ago. Spurs Forum; Think Tank; Sports. A report issued by the FBI concluded that none of the sexual assault allegations against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh was true. A report by the Texas constitutional convention claimed that between 1865 and 1868, white Texans killed almost 400 black people; black Texans, the report claimed, killed 10 whites. Whilst Trump has sloughed off the Mueller report, I do not think he has managed to do the same with the Ukraine phone call, especially as there is also a whistleblower report which alleges a cover up and also lots of witnesses who can be called to testify. The public sentiment now is in favor of Kavanaugh. Trusted by Trump. Andy Borowitz. The New Yorker The Moth and the World Science. Nation’s Criminals Ask for F. 100% NOT a bot. Photograph by Andrew Harrer / Bloomberg / Getty. , is hoping to land a six-figure job for life without being subjected to a thorough background check, the man confirmed on Tuesday. Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,” and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. The fact-checkers, whose work is more and more important for those who prefer facts over lies, police the line between fact and falsehood on a day-to-day basis, and do a great job. Today, my small contribution is to pass along a very good overview that reflects on one of Trump’s favorite overarching falsehoods. Namely: Trump describes an America in which everything was going down the tubes under  Obama, which is why we needed Trump to make America great again. And he claims that this project has come to fruition, with America setting records for prosperity under his leadership and guidance. “Obama bad; Trump good” is pretty much his analysis in all areas and measurement of U.S. activity, especially economically. Even if this were true, it would reflect poorly on Trump’s character, but it has the added problem of being false, a big lie made up of many small ones. Personally, I don’t assume that all economic measurements directly reflect the leadership of whoever occupies the Oval Office, nor am I smart enough to figure out what causes what in the economy. But the idea that presidents get the credit or the blame for the economy during their tenure is a political fact of life. Trump, in his adorable, immodest mendacity, not only claims credit for everything good that happens in the economy, but tells people, literally and specifically, that they have to vote for him even if they hate him, because without his guidance, their 401(k) accounts “will go down the tubes.” That would be offensive even if it were true, but it is utterly false. The stock market has been on a 10-year run of steady gains that began in 2009, the year Barack Obama was inaugurated. But why would anyone care about that? It’s only an unarguable, stubborn fact. Still, speaking of facts, there are so many measurements and indicators of how the economy is doing, that those not committed to an honest investigation can find evidence for whatever they want to believe. Trump and his most committed followers want to believe that everything was terrible under Barack Obama and great under Trump. That’s baloney. Anyone who believes that believes something false. And a series of charts and graphs published Monday in the Washington Post and explained by Economics Correspondent Heather Long provides the data that tells the tale. The details are complicated. Click through to the link above and you’ll learn much. But the overview is pretty simply this: The U.S. economy had a major meltdown in the last year of the George W. Bush presidency. Again, I’m not smart enough to know how much of this was Bush’s “fault.” But he had been in office for six years when the trouble started. So, if it’s ever reasonable to hold a president accountable for the performance of the economy, the timeline is bad for Bush. GDP growth went negative. Job growth fell sharply and then went negative. Median household income shrank. The Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped by more than 5,000 points! U.S. manufacturing output plunged, as did average home values, as did average hourly wages, as did measures of consumer confidence and most other indicators of economic health. (Backup for that is contained in the Post piece I linked to above.) Barack Obama inherited that mess of falling numbers, which continued during his first year in office, 2009, as he put in place policies designed to turn it around. By 2010, Obama’s second year, pretty much all of the negative numbers had turned positive. By the time Obama was up for reelection in 2012, all of them were headed in the right direction, which is certainly among the reasons voters gave him a second term by a solid (not landslide) margin. Basically, all of those good numbers continued throughout the second Obama term. The U.S. GDP, probably the single best measure of how the economy is doing, grew by 2.9 percent in 2015, which was Obama’s seventh year in office and was the best GDP growth number since before the crash of the late Bush years. GDP growth slowed to 1.6 percent in 2016, which may have been among the indicators that supported Trump’s campaign-year argument that everything was going to hell and only he could fix it. During the first year of Trump, GDP growth grew to 2.4 percent, which is decent but not great and anyway, a reasonable person would acknowledge that — to the degree that economic performance is to the credit or blame of the president — the performance in the first year of a new president is a mixture of the old and new policies. In Trump’s second year, 2018, the GDP grew 2.9 percent, equaling Obama’s best year, and so far in 2019, the growth rate has fallen to 2.1 percent, a mediocre number and a decline for which Trump presumably accepts no responsibility and blames either Nancy Pelosi, Ilhan Omar or, if he can swing it, Barack Obama. I suppose it’s natural for a president to want to take credit for everything good that happens on his (or someday her) watch, but not the blame for anything bad. Trump is more blatant about this than most. If we judge by his bad but remarkably steady approval ratings (today, according to the average maintained by 538.com, it’s 41.9 approval/ 53.7 disapproval) the pretty-good economy is not winning him new supporters, nor is his constant exaggeration of his accomplishments costing him many old ones). I already offered it above, but the full Washington Post workup of these numbers, and commentary/explanation by economics correspondent Heather Long, are here. On a related matter, if you care about what used to be called fiscal conservatism, which is the belief that federal debt and deficit matter, here’s a New York Times analysis, based on Congressional Budget Office data, suggesting that the annual budget deficit (that’s the amount the government borrows every year reflecting that amount by which federal spending exceeds revenues) which fell steadily during the Obama years, from a peak of $1.4 trillion at the beginning of the Obama administration, to $585 billion in 2016 (Obama’s last year in office), will be back up to $960 billion this fiscal year, and back over $1 trillion in 2020. (Here’s the New York Times piece detailing those numbers.) Trump is currently floating various tax cuts for the rich and the poor that will presumably worsen those projections, if passed. As the Times piece reported: